Had a couple more thoughts about items for the "when to bail" list. Just in case you do decide to publish it, I've edited and re-arranged it, so the order is more logical.

It's time to bail under any *one* of these conditions:

1. When the other person tries to force intimacy or to move things along too fast. That's a disaster waiting to happen, and means it's time to exit, and fast. Honest, sincere, and real people value themselves too much to push themselves or anyone else. Real love develops naturally over time, as mutual respect and mutual trust develop.
2. When a month of intense 'relating' online has passed, and the other person ignores or refuses reasonable requests, like a verifiably current photo or a real home telephone number.
3. When you see a RED FLAG, and can't get any explanation, or the explanation you get doesn't make sense.
4. When you're told *just one* lie. Liars, con artists, adulterers, and other seamy, sleazy types are very good at explaining away their lies, but *any* lie is a breach of trust.
5. When the other person talks about vague complications involving ex-spouses or ex-lovers, because it's very likely true that the supposed "ex" hasn't quite exited .
6. When the background check just doesn't check out (see item 4, "lies"). And *do* get that background check before scheduling any real life meeting. If you are reluctant to invest the $39 to $99 for a basic background check, think about all you stand to lose if something is really wrong.
7. Whenever the other person asks you for money in any form, and that includes asking you to "send airline tickets" or to "put something on your credit card", or to call you collect.
8. When the other person has twice failed to show up for a real world meeting, or has cancelled at the last minute, no matter what the excuse. Someone who is that busy or whose life is that complicated is either a liar or is making the relationship a very low priority. You can do better. Move on.
9. When your love claims to be "in the process of a divorce" or "getting a divorce", but can't give a hard date when it will be final. The person who claims to be "getting a divorce", but can't give a final hearing date has probably never even breathed the word "divorce" to their spouse.
10. When your love claims to be "very behind in the bills" or "having a long run of bad luck". A person can be very nice and very sincere, but unable to pay a fair share in the relationship. At best, that's one-sided. It's more likely, though, that such a person is an Internet love bandit.
11. When the person claims to be very well-off or to have a high-powered, glamorous career. Face it: doctors, lawyers, corporate executives, airline pilots, people who work "in covert operations" , don't have time to hang out in Internet chat rooms. When someone spins a yarn like this, he or she is weaving a big fantasy web.
12. When the other person makes demands on you that don't seem reasonable.
13. When your real world friends or family advise you to bail out. You may not like what they have to say, but they are emotionally removed from the situation and have a clear view. Heed them.

The new list adds up to unlucky thirteen. How appropriate, considering the subject. All the best.